C'est la vie

Even the Strong Become Weak

As I sit here, in a small coffee shop, working for job number 2 after hours, I stop and listen to a song that is playing on Spotify.  I stopped in the middle of writing about the abuse that occurred to a 5 year old little girl to listen more intently to the words of this specific song.  As I listened to the song I reflected back on what I had just written a few minutes ago. 

“Jane Doe presented to the Emergency Room with bruising under her left eye, bruising behind her right ear, a bruised and swollen right arm and bruises on her back.”  

Can you imagine someone abusing this poor, little, adorable and precious 5 year old girl.  I sure can’t and I write about it everyday.  I write about how this child got into the “foster care” system.  I write about how their birth mother abandoned them, about how their mom’s ex-boyfriend physically abused them and about how the children have never been in their parents care and they don’t even know the father’s name.  

To say it’s been a rough day would be an understatement.  I’ve been struggling lately.  Don’t get me wrong, I have a great life but lately, I’ve been tired.  Once again, “tired” is an understatement.  I’ve been exhausted, wiped and drained.  Working two jobs can do that to you.  Today has been a “woe-as-me” type of day.  After working job number 1 this morning, before the birds were even singing, then I had to hurry up and get to job number 2 for a pretty important meeting with the VP of Employee Relations and then I had to listen to my work be torn to shreds by my super who doesn’t know how to give constructive criticism at all, then get back by noon to job number 1 to fill in for an employee who called off today and lastly, here I am, working for job number 2.  It’s amazing that I’ve been able to keep track of what my day even consisted of.  

Throughout my busy and chaotic days, I’ve realized that I’ve lost sight of why I am here, of why I am working at a non-profit foster care agency and why I am going back to school to hopefully (fingers crossed) earn my MSW.  Sometimes I need a good, hard smack in the face… or maybe more like a smack back into reality.  Well.. here it is:

“I may be weak but your Spirit’s strong in me, my flesh may fail, but my God you never will.”

The word “weak” caught my attention in the middle of writing about the abuse this little girl had to live through.  ”I may be weak”.  That is so true!  I’m not sure I can pinpoint a time when I was this weak, physically, mentally and emotionally.  Job number 1 wears me down physically and mentally, job number 2 wears down mentally and emotionally and juggling job 1 and job 2 with husband, friends and family wears me down physically.  

“I may be weak but your Spirit’s strong in me, my flesh may fail, but my God you never will.”

I do what I do because I love people.  I love children.  I love the work I do and I love the cause that I stand for.  Reuniting children with their parents once they have received the help they have needed or finding a caregiver who loves that child like their own.  It truly is an amazing journey to be a part of.  

I can’t imagine being in the foster care system.  I can’t imagine.  My husband’s mom put it well this past weekend when she said she felt “orphaned” when both of her parents eventually passed away.  How difficult it must be to be “orphaned” at such an early age. 

I must remember, I do what I do because it is my heart, my passion and my excitement. Sometimes I just lose sight and have to refocus my eyes.  I have to somehow see the big picture once again.  I know I am weak, I know I fail and I know I live the “pity me” lifestyle every once in a while but let me be and I’ll eventually get back to who I really am.  

Escaping

I love sitting in a room of people and feeling like I am the only one in the room.  I adore sitting with headphones in and music on and getting lost in my own thoughts and writings.  I love being inspired by music that I onced loved so dearly but sadly drifted away from.  Sometimes I need a heartbreak to appreciate the things that I once couldn’t live without.  It just so happens that I experience heartbreak frequently.  I haven’t lost a good friend in a car accident, my parents have not told me they are splitting up and getting a divoice, my husband did not leave me, nothing along those lines.  My heartbreak is everyday when I realize I have lost myself.  My heartbreak is when I hear a song that was so dear to me that I haven’t listened to in months.  My heartbreak occurs when I can’t remember the last time I picked up a paintbrush.  I experience heartbreak when I realize I haven’t shed tears because my heart aches and yearns for something or someone’s situation in a long time.  It is sad how we get into such a flow in the day to day and yet somehow we manage to ignore our passions that we possess deep inside of our hearts even though they use to be priority number one.  It’s funny how individuals can be so connected with art and music that when it is not visible in our lives, we feel empty and lifeless.  These are not normal individuals, they are not the “normal” group of people.  These people I have described are more than just human beings; they possess a deep love and appreciation for the world they live in and without them consistently recongizing who they are and taking hold of what they need to do to make life happy, wihtout it, without it they feel like they are nothing, wthout it they feel as though the world is boring, dull and uneventual.  Without them recongizing their need for culture, people, art, music and life; without these things it is hard for them to be happy.  

truebluemeandyou: DIY Tutorial Vintage Suitcase Chair. Found at See Kate Sew here. Variations of this have been all over the web, but I never saw a really great tutorial attached to any of the images until now. When I saw how little you really needed for this project it got me thinking that maybe even I could do it :)

truebluemeandyou:

DIY Tutorial Vintage Suitcase Chair. Found at See Kate Sew here. Variations of this have been all over the web, but I never saw a really great tutorial attached to any of the images until now. When I saw how little you really needed for this project it got me thinking that maybe even I could do it :)

missohaithar: When is the best time to DIY?! MIDNIGHT!! I made this really late at night and managed to upload onto facebook, but not tumblr. Therefore, I am uploading it now. :P This bag isn’t big enough to fit a binder because I made it to fit my iPad/pens. I am leaning towards selling it on my etsy store and facebook store, however, it will not be made of suede. I might make it from canvas fabric, or cotton. It depends what I can find at Joanns. Now that I think about it, probably cotton since there’s a HUGE color selection for cotton. :P Oh, btw, the paper on the right is my thumbnail and instructions. Being an artist, I always draw a thumbnail when creating projects of my own(basically when I design my own items) and write out the instructions so I don’t mess up or forget to sew something and so forth. Yeah, I’m rambling on and on and on… :P  Materials used: light brown suede and floral print lining fabric.

missohaithar:

When is the best time to DIY?! MIDNIGHT!!

I made this really late at night and managed to upload onto facebook, but not tumblr. Therefore, I am uploading it now. :P This bag isn’t big enough to fit a binder because I made it to fit my iPad/pens. I am leaning towards selling it on my etsy store and facebook store, however, it will not be made of suede. I might make it from canvas fabric, or cotton. It depends what I can find at Joanns. Now that I think about it, probably cotton since there’s a HUGE color selection for cotton. :P

Oh, btw, the paper on the right is my thumbnail and instructions. Being an artist, I always draw a thumbnail when creating projects of my own(basically when I design my own items) and write out the instructions so I don’t mess up or forget to sew something and so forth. Yeah, I’m rambling on and on and on… :P 

Materials used: light brown suede and floral print lining fabric.

timwikander:

A friend reminded me yesterday of this diy design i came up with a while back. A series of precisely placed notches makes for relatively easy and dependable wire wrapping around an ordinary wine cork.

After testing this one for a week or so i decided that just stuffing my earphones in my pocket was still better in the end…i will admit though that i do miss the great smell! 

(Source: timothywikander)

Society

Dear society,

Mother Teresa once said, “If you judge people, you don’t have time to love them.” 

People are allowed to talk to people of the opposite sex while with someone of the opposite sex.  People are allowed to talk to someone of a different race.  People are allowed to talk about sex and alcohol.  People are allowed to talk openly and freely to whomever they choose.  ”If you judge people, you don’t have time to love them,” stated Mother Teresa.  

Ponder this.  If you judge one person for something that, yes, you may not agree with that might possibly lead to an ugly look, a nose turned up and a negative attitude.  That could lead to that person feeling self conscious about themselves and that person could yell at their spouse or significant other.  That spouse or significant other could take it out on their boss who than fires him.  So on and so it.  It all creates a ripple effect.  Can you see how things all can be tied together?  Do you see how we can all be connected?  

Next time, before you judge, think about the ripples that may occur because of the non-verbals that your judgement causes.  

Sincerly,

Annoyed at Starbucks

brandijnell: Lampshade I made yesterday using old book that we used as as decór at our wedding. :) #diy #lamp (Taken with instagram)

brandijnell:

Lampshade I made yesterday using old book that we used as as decór at our wedding. :) #diy #lamp (Taken with instagram)

(Source: joiedebee)

scissorsandthread: Make Your Own Fabric Using The Sun | How About Orange This is one of the coolest things I’ve seen in a long time! This purse was made with a product called Inkodye. You paint your fabric with it and then lay objects over the top and pop it in the sun. How About Orange used safety pins on hers and it looks amazing. I’m trying to think of what else you could use to ‘print’ your fabric - maybe buttons? Or you could cut out shapes from card? So many possibilities!

scissorsandthread:

Make Your Own Fabric Using The Sun | How About Orange

This is one of the coolest things I’ve seen in a long time! This purse was made with a product called Inkodye. You paint your fabric with it and then lay objects over the top and pop it in the sun. How About Orange used safety pins on hers and it looks amazing. I’m trying to think of what else you could use to ‘print’ your fabric - maybe buttons? Or you could cut out shapes from card? So many possibilities!